my+imaginary+life

One day, I woke up and went to school. It was a normal, average day: mildly entertaining. THEN SUDDENLY there was a fire and we all had to evacuate and move our cars from the parking lot and eventually the fire spread to devour all of houston, my god forsaken hometown. So everyone drove west to the desert and we lived off pickled cactus, sotol and peyote and i lost ten pounds. Then i grew up to become a shaman, slash widdler and found much delight in it. I openned my own shaman, slash widdler school and taught all the other young heathens about the joys of my trade. When they learned, they all opened their own schools and mine fell through, so now, fully matured, I decided to venture out into the world, beyond my tribe. I became traveling magician and found myself a circus to join. It was there that i met Gustavo who became my magician's assistant and forbidden lover. We ran away together, stole a boat, and lived on the ocean for a while. He taught me to play the spanish guitar and I'd weave seaweed into flowy open shirts for him to wear. Then he got eaten by a shark and that was that; I moved on. I sailed to oregon, sold the boat and jumped on a train for Canada. There a befriended a group of hobos and we formed a Canadian traveling string band. Rocky Mountain Minstrels, we called ourselves. Mickey, who played washtub bass, and i became very adept pigeon and falcon trainers. Unfortunately, Lloyd, the fiddler, ate one of my pigeons one cold winters night, and out of pure grief, Mickey and I were forced to give up fame forever and quit the band. We took off together for Montreal and opened an exotic bird shop. I also sold pet rocks for a short time there. Mickey was a good room mate but he snored, so i decided to bolt in the middle of the night. I didn't regret it. for i fell in love with a lumberjack the very next day. He was six and a half feet tall with mutton chops and a strange tendency to sing about what he was doing at each and every moment. He gave up lumberjacking to go with me to Peru. We jumped a cruise ship and worked as lowly cruise ship gift shop cashiers. Oh! what miserable times in the lap of luxury! never have i been so seasick in my life. Finally, once in Peru, we jumped over board and swam to shore. There we found a nice tree to live in and we ate mangos for the rest of our lives :)